Rose Colored Glasses for sale ... Aisle 13 ...

Is it just me, or do children frustrate most people? I don't think I have come across any one item, place, or thing that frustrates me more than children. They don't do anything that makes sense. They don't say anything that makes sense. They don't have the ability to make appropriate choices. They can't be responsible for anything. You can't trust them to be honest, ethical, or moral. And they just plain don't listen. At least the children that I have been exposed to are like this. Wouldn't most rational people be frustrated my this kind of behavior?

People who behave this way at work get fired. People who behave this way towards friends and family soon find themselves alone. People who behave this way in society go to jail. So why is it acceptable in society for an entire segment of the population to behave this way without being held accountable for the consequences?

Do I sound crazy?

How many time have you been to a restaurant or in church and been overly annoyed by some screaming, misbehaving kid and the attending adult does nothing to stop it? We revile those parents. We viciously talk about their lack of care, attention, and parenting skills. And we shoot hateful looks towards them in the hope that we catch the eye of the parent and get our message across without having to get up, go over there, and slap some sense into both the parent and misbehaving child.

And why don't we get up and go over there and confront the offending parent? Because we're too busy trying to keep our own child in his seat, his food on the plate or in his mouth, and gobble down a bite or two of our own. And while we're smiling like a lobotomized zombie at what we deem to be the cute antics of our own child, who happens to be behaving like a cow at a trough, we're missing the eyes of the other half of the room shooting hateful looks at us.

Do I still sound crazy?

We can't stand to see offensive behavior in OTHER children. But when OUR children commit the same offensive behavior, somehow it doesn't seem so bad and can even be quite endearing.

How can this be so?

It's called Rose Colored Glasses, my friend. Probably due to His omnipotence, because if He ignored or overlooked this dichotomy of human behavior His whole social experiment would fail, God provided most parents with this veil of rose colored glasses through which they view their own offspring. But it's only for their specific offspring. The glasses don't work on other offspring. And if they didn't have a pair of the glasses, all human parents would probably have mental, emotional, and physical breakdowns and end up killing and eating their young.

How do I know about these Rose Colored Glasses?

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY! I'm an instant mother who inherited the offspring of other people. maybe the warranty wore off. Maybe over the years the kit or accessories were broken or lost. For whatever reason, I didn't get any of these Rose Colored Glasses. This should clearly explain why I am constantly hovering on the cusp of a mental, emotional, and physical breakdown. I haven't killed or eaten anyone. Yet.

There is nothing between me and the sight of the offending behavior but thin air. I have a unique perspective. It's called REALITY. When I watch my step-son screw up I see it as a screw up, not as a cute lapse in judgement. When he lies to me I see it as dishonest, not as an imaginative alternative.

When he stands there and tells me that he did not eat an entire box of Little Debbie snack cakes even though he was the only one at home and I have found ten empty wrappers in the trash can in his bedroom, I don't find that cute or endearing. I find it dishonest, sneaky, and greedy. And my lips get thin and I begin to snarl, "What do you mean you didn't eat them? Are you telling me the dogs, who don't have thumbs by the way, opened all these cellophane packages and ate this entire box of Little Debbies?" And he thinks like a child because he is a child and attempts to deflect blame somewhere else despite the impossibility of what he's about to suggest, "Maybe Dad ate them?" And I continue to snarl, "Your father is in Michigan today. I find it difficult to believe that he was able to get down here at some point this afternoon, gorge himself on Little Debbies, and then make it back to Michigan before someone noticed he was missing." And it is not until all avenues of escape are blocked that he finally relents, "Yeah, I ate some but I gave most of them to the dogs because they really didn't taste all that good."

When he ignores me, I see it as disrespectful and disobedient. I don't think it's cute or that he's exercising his own cognitive ability. When I tell him to do something I always have a reason that I asked him to do it in the first place. But that doesn't seem to enter into the equation for him. "Didn't I tell you to fold and put away your clothes?" He says, "Yes Ma'am." And I say, "Then why are all your clean clothes tossed back into the laundry basket at the bottom of your closet as if they were dirty?" And he says, "I dunno." And I say, "What do you mean you don't know?" And he says, "Ummm ... what did you ask me?" And I say, "Why did you put your clean clothes in the dirty clothes basket instead of folding them and putting them away?" And he says, "Oh. Umm. They fell in there. I was just about to get them back out. But now they've touched the other dirty ones and you said I can't wear dirty clothes so I'll have to wash them again so they might as well stay in the dirty clothes basket?" And my lips get thing and I begin to snarl, "Take every one of those clothes out of that basket. Fold them. Put them away. And when I give you instructions I expect you to follow them. Do you hear me?!" And he thinks like a child because he is a child and attempts to wiggle out of the work, "How am I supposed to tell which ones are from the clean load and which ones were already in the basket?" And I snarl, "Sniff them!" And it is not until all avenues of escape are blocked that he finally relents, "Well, ok, but I was just trying to not put away dirty clothes like you told me before."

I got cheated. I didn't get my pair of Rose Colored Glasses. I wound up with a 10 year old - who is now 14 - that hasn't made any mental or emotional progress that I can see and who didn't arrive with all his accessories intact. However, his father has a very LARGE pair of Rose Colored Glasses. I'm always hearing, "Jacque, he's a kid. He doesn't understand ..." or "... he wasn't thinking ... " or "... give him a break ..." Are you kidding me? He doesn't understand that when he's given instructions he's supposed to follow them? Isn't there a child's game that reinforces that idea?? Isn't it called FOLLOW THE LEADER?? He wasn't thinking that someone in this house might get upset if he put an entire load of DIRTY dishes back into the cabinets because he didn't THINK to look and see if they were clean?? He certainly thought enough about how to hide his bad test papers, lie about not having any homework, and come up with enough ridiculous excuses as to why he hasn't done what he was supposed to do. Don't them me he doesn't think ... he thinks quit a bit about what HE wants/doesn't want.

It is this very lapse in parental logic and rationality, brought on by the Rose Colored Glasses, that enables an entire segment of our population to act without consequence. One might think that the Rose Colored Glasses are the main problem. I think they are. But since God provides them, I don't think I'm going to have any luck convincing Him that they are evil. I think the thing about which I am most jealous is that they provide the parent wearing them with such a relaxed existence. If you looked at your child and all you could see was how cute and special and gifted and wonderful they were, then obviously you'll be living a pleasant, relaxed, and fulfilled life. But without the glasses, trust me, the view isn't as good.

I want some Rose Colored Glasses! I would appreciate getting some for Mother's Day next year ... and a 5 year renewal on my Wellbutrin prescription ... yes, then I'd be set ...