A Second Pet Peeve ...

I really hate to complain. I really do. I sound so ungrateful and petty because my job is so good and I like it so much. But now that I've been there 4 months, I do have a second pet peeve that has reared it's ugly head.

When folks in the office leave messages for people, I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that they are experienced professionals who understand basic telephone etiquette and, when they are unable to reach the party they are calling, that they leave a detailed message including their name, reason for their call, and their phone number. That's the assumption I am working under. But it never fails that people return these calls and have no idea who called them, what it could possibly be about, and to whom they should speak. How can that be, you ask? Well let me tell you ...

...it's the direct result of the person hitting re-dial on their cell phone without bothering to check their voicemail to see who called in the first place.

First of all, I would never call back a number I didn't recognize unless I checked my voice mail first. If it's someone I know, I am probably going to recognize their number and they're probably already programmed into my cell phone. But if I don't know them I would never blindly call them back. And if they know that I don't know them, why wouldn't they leave a message? Wouldn't that be the smart thing to do just to make sure that I accepted communication from them because they know that I don't know them? Thus I would listen to the voicemail and have the option to call back or not.

Second of all, if I got a call from an unknown number and they did NOT leave a message, you can bet that I am not wasting my time returning that call. I would think that 99% of the time we get unknown callers who don't leave messages that it is really a wrong number. So who cares? I am not one of those people obsessed with finding out who calls them. I could care less, specifically if I don't know you.

So if the folks working here are the professionals I think they are, they must be leaving messages. That leaves the issue in the laps of the people who return the calls. So let's look at that for a moment.

As far as I know, all cell phones come with the option for voicemail. How hard is it to listen to the voicemail before redialing the number? Why are you going to make yourself look like an idiot by calling here and saying, "Uh ... I dunno who called me but I'm calling back." They don't tell me their names or anything. And then there are the ones who give me the third degree when they call back, "Who are you? What company is this? Why are you calling me? How did you get this number??"

That's my favorite ... "How did you get this number?" Well, if it's a cell phone number, you jackass, then YOU would have been the one to have provided the number in the first place. And if you can't remember to whom you're giving your number, perhaps you're not as responsible as you think and shouldn't be entrusted with utilizing such a powerful piece of technology!

It never ceases to amaze me how some people just don't get it. There was a six to eight week period where I kept getting a call from an unknown number. I wouldn't answer it. It was happening frequently. Finally they left a message ... "Christy, this is Nana. Call me when you get this message." What's wrong with this you may wonder? It's just a nice senior lady calling someone named Christy, right? Wrong. Did she not listen to the recording on my voicemail that says, "You have reached JACQUE. Please leave me a message." JACQUE - not CHRISTY. You'd think she would have caught that at least once in the four hundred and fifty million freak'n times she called me and left messages!

So finally one day I see her number and I answer the phone and I tell her she's dialing the WRONG NUMBER. And she says, "Oh my goodness. I am so sorry." And we hang up. And she dials me right back. And I tell her again that it's the wrong number. And she calls me right back again and again and again. It was like a scene out of "Ground Hog Day". I was ready to give in and become whomever this Christy person was so I could cuss her out and break up their relationship or something so she'd stop freak'n calling me!

But my southern belle training stopped me from being truly evil. So instead, I saved her number and assigned it to ring in silent mode and labeled her phone number as Stupid Old Lady. So now when she called the display said Stupid Old Lady and the phone didn't ring at all and I could just acknowledge the missed calls. And finally ... one day ... the calls stopped coming. Thank God!

You know, they should have a class in middle school called "Telephone Etiquette" where they teach people how to answer a phone, talk on a phone, take messages, and leave messages. And what's with these asinine ring tones? Who in their right mind sets up a ring tone of some kind of Gangsta Rap and uses that as their main communication tool? That's just what potential employers want to hear when calling people about possible jobs. Right? Duh! And if I hear my son tell just one more person that I'm in the bathroom and I've been in there for a while and he doesn't know when I'll ever come out ... blah blah blah ... an entire discussion about my bathroom habits and gastrointestinal fortitude (or lack thereof) ... JESUS! ... I'm gonna rip his tongue out.

Umm ... I think I got off track here a little ... but anyway, I think reasonable adults will understand the message I'm leaving.

And by the way, it has not escaped my notice that one day I will be that Stupid Old Lady calling the wrong number time and time again. And if I happen to call you by mistake, just tell me to go screw myself and quit calling that number!